I'm just going to put this out there. I'm not a doctor and cannot claim to cure cPTSD. Honestly, no one really can claim that anyway.
 
YOU must travel your journey. YOU must heal yourself. That's true physically and it's also true emotionally and mentally. You do have the power even if you don’t feel like you do and you don’t believe it’s possible. With God all things are possible and with the right tools you can do it.
 
What I share is my healing journey, how I personally healed, what living a life in constant fight / flight looked like and what cPTSD felt like. I share how I moved forward toward emotional balance and healed myself. Hopefully what I share along the way lights a path and forms a roadmap for you. It took me years and I share so others can hopefully shortcut their healing journey. I have a very clear system and program that I offer and I hope it helps you.

PTSD vs cPTSD

Healing cPTSD is very different from PTSD. Two completely different healing paths are required. The goal of healing PTSD is to return to the “normal” one had before the trauma. Healing cPTSD requires creating one’s “normal” from scratch while healing. “Normal” never existed or is long forgotten for someone with cPTSD. 

Definitions

PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event.

cPTSD – Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape.

What is Trauma?

Traumatic stress includes events, experiences, and exposures that greatly exceed the individual’s capacity to control, cope with, or withstand and that compromise the individual’s psychophysiological equilibrium or stasis…. they pose an imminent threat or actuality of death, or through other means cause fundamental and life altering psychophysiological harm (Ford & Courtois, 2020, p. 4)

Healing cPTSD – Three Main Challenges

First, the concept of trauma being “post” traumatic implies that the trauma has passed. With complex trauma the trauma is often very much in the present. The people and situations causing the trauma often remain close and intimately integrated into daily life so the trauma is ongoing and continuous. There is no “post” to the trauma because it hasn’t ended. There’s also likely no end in sight.

Second, even if the situation or person is gone the trauma often lives on in the form of an internal voice (or inner critic) that continues the emotional abuse. The negative self-talk and internal bully is very much alive and active. Daily. Constantly. Incessantly. Relentless.

Third, it’s entirely possible what is happening isn’t even seen as abuse. Emotional and mental abuse can become so very “normal” that many know things no other way. One may not even recognize what is happening is trauma. This is especially true if trauma begins in childhood and continues throughout life. It’s just normal that humans speak and treat one another that way. It’s always been that way so that is considered acceptable and isn’t even seen as abuse or trauma.

If you'd like to chat more about where you are in your healing journey and what your next best steps would be please message me. Let me know you read this post and are seeking information specifically for cPTSD.

How to Heal in the Midst of Ongoing Trauma

Your healing efforts must outpace the incoming and ongoing damage. 

Here's how I did that:

My Level UP System is how I present my personal roadmap of healing to you. It's everything I learned and created along the way that helped me heal. Here's how it works together:

My Emotional Balance Course is designed to accelerate healing, while my Gentle Boundaries Course is focused on minimizing the incoming damage. My 21 Days of Empowered Growth is to calm your inner critic so gentle boundaries are more possible. 

Only recently did I find Aroma Freedom which supercharged healing my traumatic memories. The specific technique called The Memory Resolution Technique is something Dr Perkus outlines in his book

Emotional Balance is focused on noticing the emotion and trauma. I teach you how to back up and pay attention sooner before our nervous system is in the high gear upper levels of fight / flight. I had to learn this on my own through bits and pieces, trial and error.

Gentle Boundaries is focused on doing boundaries in a really gentle way. It was my way I managed to do boundaries true to my gentle nature and doing my very best to be kind. It was a way to protect myself while still showing love for others. I read lots about boundaries and couldn’t do them the way others taught them. Being assertive was going to cause me more damage. I had to find a way to do boundaries while minimizing damage to myself and others.

The 21 Days of Empowered Growth is focused on getting our inner critic to stop beating us up and eliminate the bully spinning in our heads. That's just more incoming damage we have control over eliminating if we know how so I share how I did it. 

Finally, my Fully Claim Your Life Course is to create yourself now that you have some emotional healing so you can do gentle boundaries and your inner critic has surrendered its grip. 

Without emotional balance we can’t do gentle boundaries because once we’re in such a heightened state we’re about to explode. Our nervous system, designed to protect us, is in overdrive. There’s no way at that point to have boundaries or be gentle. If we try to speak up in that state we’re bound to cause ourselves and others damage. Worse yet we tip over into shut down and check out because we’re beyond coping.

Nothing out there taught these things from a perspective of cPTSD and being in the midst of ongoing trauma. I built my own roadmap and now I share it. Rarely do I use words like cPTSD or trauma because, as stated above, many don’t even realize that’s what’s happening. Most only know what their day to day life feels like just trying to survive

How It Feels

The realization that something isn’t right feels like finding yourself in the middle of a thicket of thorn bushes. Maybe you headed in for some tasty raspberries. Suddenly you realize you’re in the middle of the patch and you’re full of scratches. If you move you get scratched some more so maybe you just stand still for a bit while you figure out what’s going on. Carefully, you assess your situation. It’s not possible to stay there. You’ve run out of food, you’re growing weak and it’s getting dark. You realize quite possibly your very life is at stake unless you get out. However, attempting to exit the thicket means you will most definitely get scratched more but you have no choice. At this point it means your life. So you start to carefully look for the best path out, the one that will result in the least amount of damage. Imagine at that very moment someone outside the thicket reaches back in to let you know they made it out with minimal damage. They’re willing to share how they got out and share the path they took.

If you're ready to begin your healing journey message me. Let me know you read this post and are seeking information specifically for cPTSD.

What You Might Notice: 

Do you have little or no time:
  • to care for own needs?
  • to care for basic physical needs?
  • for personal study?
How many of these do you answer yes to?
  • Do you lack the time to take care of your personal needs because you’re too tied up taking care of everybody else’s needs?
  • Do you feel like everyone else is in charge of your schedule except for you?
  • Are you unable to find a balance between taking care of your responsibilities and taking care of others?
  • Do you feel emotionally spent, strained, frayed, worn out and keep plowing through anyway?
  • Do you often eat / grab food on the run?
  • Do you feel like you’re dying inside because you don’t have time to nurture your soul or tend to your spiritual needs?
  • Are you frequently the one to compromise your wishes or even needs for the sake of others?
  • Are you often very hard on yourself?
  • Are you critical of self and self-judging?
  • Do you stuff emotions down and just keep going?

This is how fear shows up and what living in constant fight / flight mode feels like:

  • Physical issues with no medical cause

    • gut issues
      • poor digestion
      • constipation / diarrhea
      • loss of appetite / overeating
      • tight throat
      • knot in stomach
      • intestines twisted up
    • panic attacks that look like:
      • sudden racing heart
      • wake up out of sound sleep out of breath
      • hyperventilating
      • experience shortness of breath 
        • for no reason
        • with just a small amount of physical activity
        • shortness of breath doesn't match level of exertion
    • irregular heart beat
    • nightmares
    • insomnia
    • restlessness
    • always sick
    • extreme fatigue
    • lack of energy
    • noise sensitivity
    • muscle / body / joint pain (chronic)
    • tense / hard muscles
    • knots and lumps
    • sore neck / shoulder / back
    • skin issues / acne
    • teeth clenching / grinding
    • cold / clammy hands and feet
    • feeling heavy, loaded down, weighed down
    • clumsy / frequent accidents or injuries
    • excessive menstrual pain
  • Emotional challenges

    • hopeless
    • helpless
    • powerless
    • trapped
    • isolated
    • considered suicide as a way out
    • would never admit any of this
    • sees herself as strong and capable
    • harsh and critical of self
    • feelings of guilt
    • feeling obligated to do what is not in their heart to do
    • depressive behavior / feeling down
    • deep sadness and grief
    • feeling anxious most of the time
    • excessive worry
    • feelings of apathy
  • Inability to cope looks like:

    • socially isolates
    • frequently wants to be alone
    • withdrawn
    • doesn’t feel safe with others
    • lack of ability to trust or confide in others
    • stressed beyond words
    • constantly edgy
    • increased drinking or other numbing habits
    • crying for no apparent reason
    • crying over little things
    • outbursts of anger for no reason
    • feeling irritable over little things
    • irritable and not sure why
    • trouble controlling anger
    • numbing out
    • sleeping long hours
    • no desire to get out of bed
    • lack of drive
    • lack of focus
    • inability to concentrate
    • difficulty remembering
    • trouble making decisions
    • floats through the day doing minimum obligation
  • Attempts to balance everyone's needs yet feels / experiences:

    • feels torn between people
    • needs are last / never happen
    • walk a tightrope to keep everyone happy yet everyone is displeased
    • marital stress
    • Are you torn between which people and relationships take priority?
    • Do you have difficulty saying no because everyone needs you?
    • Do you feel suffocated by others demands? 
    • Do you give until you’re utterly spent and it’s still not enough?
    • Do you just want to see everyone happy and yet no one is happy despite your best efforts?
    • Do you feel responsible for others’ emotions?
    • Do you feel responsible for others happiness or lack thereof?
    • Do you have a hard time reconciling the concept of “keep seeking the needs of others” with the very real need of keeping yourself alive?
    • Is the idea of “turn the other cheek” and “putting up with one another in love” confusing and you feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
    • Time pressure
  • Many people in close association are:

    • difficult
    • aggressive
    • fits of rage
    • verbally abusive (they may not see this one)
    • bullies
    • intimidating
    • manipulative
    • nosy and all up in my business (enmeshed)
    • self-absorbed (emotional neglect)
    • always shifting the blame to me (scapegoating)
    • everything is always my fault (blaming)
    • "maybe I'm the one with the problem" (gaslighting)
    • passive aggressive
    • treats me like a baby (infantilization)
    • acts like I'm supposed to take care of them (parentification)
    • sarcastic / name calling (they may not recognize this one)
    • no win situations
    • gives me the silent treatment
    • always plays the victim (triangulation)
    • makes me the bad guy (triangulation)
    • puts me in the middle (triangulation)
  • Trauma types (what it looks and feels like from client perspective)

    • fear
    • fawn
    • fight
    • flight
    • PTSD / cPTSD

If you'd like to chat about how my Level UP system can help you message me

If you don't already have your Aroma Reset Guide get yours here, then be sure to watch the video I share after you request your guide.


Your emotional healing begins here. Watch this complimentary video to begin your emotional healing TODAY. This concept in this first video of a three part series. If you would like to chat about your healing journey and your next steps, message me and mention this post.

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