What does cPTSD feel like? What might you notice in yourself or someone else?

What You Might Notice: 

• to care for own needs?
• to care for even basic physical needs? 
• for personal study or other personal pursuits?

• Do you lack the time to take care of your personal needs because you’re too tied up taking care of everybody else’s needs?
• Do you feel like everyone else is in charge of your schedule except for you?
• Are you unable to find a balance between taking care of your responsibilities and taking care of others?
• Do you feel emotionally spent, strained, frayed, worn out and keep plowing through anyway?
• Do you often eat / grab food on the run?
• Do you feel like you’re dying inside because you don’t have time to nurture your soul or tend to your spiritual needs?
• Are you frequently the one to compromise your wishes or even needs for the sake of others?
• Are you often very hard on yourself?
• Are you critical of self and self-judging?
• Do you stuff emotions down and just keep going?

This is how fear shows up and what living in constant fight / flight mode feels like:

• Physical issues with no medical cause

• gut issues
  • poor digestion
  • constipation / diarrhea
  • loss of appetite / overeating
  • tight throat
  • knot in stomach
  • intestines twisted up
• panic attacks that look like:
  • sudden racing heart
  • wake up out of sound sleep out of breath
  • hyperventilating
  • experience shortness of breath 
    • for no reason
    • with just a small amount of physical activity
    • shortness of breath doesn't match level of exertion
• irregular heart beat
• nightmares
• insomnia
• restlessness
• always sick
• extreme fatigue
• lack of energy
• noise sensitivity
• muscle / body / joint pain (chronic)
• tense / hard muscles
• knots and lumps
• sore neck / shoulder / back
• skin issues / acne
• teeth clenching / grinding
• cold / clammy hands and feet
• feeling heavy, loaded down, weighed down
• clumsy / frequent accidents or injuries
• excessive menstrual pain

• Emotional challenges

• hopeless
• helpless
• powerless
• trapped
• isolated
• considered suicide as a way out
• would never admit any of this
• sees herself as strong and capable
• harsh and critical of self
• feelings of guilt
• feeling obligated to do what is not in their heart to do
• depressive behavior / feeling down
• deep sadness and grief
• feeling anxious most of the time
• excessive worry
• feelings of apathy

• Inability to cope looks like:

• socially isolates
• frequently wants to be alone
• withdrawn
• doesn’t feel safe with others
• lack of ability to trust or confide in others
• stressed beyond words
• constantly edgy
• increased drinking or other numbing habits
• crying for no apparent reason
• crying over little things
• outbursts of anger for no reason
• feeling irritable over little things
• irritable and not sure why
• trouble controlling anger
• numbing out
• sleeping long hours
• no desire to get out of bed
• lack of drive
• lack of focus
• inability to concentrate
• difficulty remembering
• trouble making decisions
• floats through the day doing minimum obligation

• Attempts to balance everyone's needs yet feels / experiences:

• feels torn between people
• needs are last / never happen
• walk a tightrope to keep everyone happy yet everyone is displeased
• marital stress
• Are you torn between which people and relationships take priority?
• Do you have difficulty saying no because everyone needs you?
• Do you feel suffocated by others demands? 
• Do you give until you’re utterly spent and it’s still not enough?
• Do you just want to see everyone happy and yet no one is happy despite your best efforts?
• Do you feel responsible for others’ emotions?
• Do you feel responsible for others happiness or lack thereof?
• Do you have a hard time reconciling the concept of “keep seeking the needs of others” with the very real need of keeping yourself alive?
• Is the idea of “turn the other cheek” and “putting up with one another in love” confusing and you feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
• Time pressure

• Many people in close association are:

• difficult (aka passive-aggressive or covert aggression)
• aggressive (overtly)
• fits of rage
• verbally abusive 
• bullies
• intimidating
• manipulative
• nosy and all up in my business (enmeshed)
• self-absorbed (emotionally neglectful toward offspring)
• always shifting blame (scapegoating)
• everything is always my fault (blaming)
• "maybe I'm the one with the problem" (gaslighting)
• treats me like a baby (infantilization)
• acts like I'm supposed to take care of them (parentification)
• sarcastic / name-calling
• no win situations
• gives me the silent treatment
• always plays the victim (triangulation)
• makes me the bad guy (triangulation)
• puts me in the middle (triangulation)

• Four Trauma Types 

• fear
• fawn
• fight
• flight