This is added detail to the full blog post here: Understanding the Impact of Trauma
This is not some random list of symptoms. These are things I used to experience personally.
What You Might Notice:
Do you have little or no time:
- to care for own needs?
- to care for even basic physical needs?
- for personal study or other personal pursuits?
How many of these do you answer yes to?
- Do you lack the time to take care of your personal needs because you’re too tied up taking care of everybody else’s needs?
- Do you feel like everyone else is in charge of your schedule except for you?
- Are you unable to find a balance between taking care of your responsibilities and taking care of others?
- Do you feel emotionally spent, strained, frayed, worn out and keep plowing through anyway?
- Do you often eat / grab food on the run?
- Do you feel like you’re dying inside because you don’t have time to nurture your soul or tend to your spiritual needs?
- Are you frequently the one to compromise your wishes or even needs for the sake of others?
- Are you often very hard on yourself?
- Are you critical of self and self-judging?
- Do you stuff emotions down and just keep going?
This is how fear shows up and what living in constant fight / flight mode feels like:
Physical issues with no medical cause
- gut issues
- poor digestion
- constipation / diarrhea
- loss of appetite / overeating
- tight throat
- knot in stomach
- intestines twisted up
- panic attacks that look like:
- sudden racing heart
- wake up out of sound sleep out of breath
- experience shortness of breath
- for no reason
- with just a small amount of physical activity
- shortness of breath doesn't match level of exertion
- irregular heart beat
- always sick
- extreme fatigue
- lack of energy
- noise sensitivity
- muscle / body / joint pain (chronic)
- tense / hard muscles
- knots and lumps
- sore neck / shoulder / back
- skin issues / acne
- teeth clenching / grinding
- cold / clammy hands and feet
- feeling heavy, loaded down, weighed down
- clumsy / frequent accidents or injuries
- excessive menstrual pain
- considered suicide as a way out
- would never admit any of this
- sees herself as strong and capable
- harsh and critical of self
- feelings of guilt
- feeling obligated to do what is not in their heart to do
- depressive behavior / feeling down
- deep sadness and grief
- feeling anxious most of the time
- excessive worry
- feelings of apathy
Inability to cope looks like:
- socially isolates
- frequently wants to be alone
- doesn’t feel safe with others
- lack of ability to trust or confide in others
- stressed beyond words
- constantly edgy
- increased drinking or other numbing habits
- crying for no apparent reason
- crying over little things
- outbursts of anger for no reason
- feeling irritable over little things
- irritable and not sure why
- trouble controlling anger
- numbing out
- sleeping long hours
- no desire to get out of bed
- lack of drive
- lack of focus
- inability to concentrate
- difficulty remembering
- trouble making decisions
- floats through the day doing minimum obligation
Attempts to balance everyone's needs yet feels / experiences:
- feels torn between people
- needs are last / never happen
- walk a tightrope to keep everyone happy yet everyone is displeased
- marital stress
- Are you torn between which people and relationships take priority?
- Do you have difficulty saying no because everyone needs you?
- Do you feel suffocated by others demands?
- Do you give until you’re utterly spent and it’s still not enough?
- Do you just want to see everyone happy and yet no one is happy despite your best efforts?
- Do you feel responsible for others’ emotions?
- Do you feel responsible for others happiness or lack thereof?
- Do you have a hard time reconciling the concept of “keep seeking the needs of others” with the very real need of keeping yourself alive?
- Is the idea of “turn the other cheek” and “putting up with one another in love” confusing and you feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
- Time pressure
Many people in close association are:
You may not even recognize these behaviors and patterns. They are normal behaviors you've known all your life. I encourage you to look around and observe not all humans consider these things socially acceptable.
- difficult (aka passive-aggressive or covert aggression)
- aggressive (overtly)
- fits of rage
- verbally abusive
- nosy and all up in my business (enmeshed)
- self-absorbed (emotionally neglectful toward offspring)
- always shifting blame (scapegoating)
- everything is always my fault (blaming)
- "maybe I'm the one with the problem" (gaslighting)
- treats me like a baby (infantilization)
- acts like I'm supposed to take care of them (parentification)
- sarcastic / name-calling
- no win situations
- gives me the silent treatment
- always plays the victim (triangulation)
- makes me the bad guy (triangulation)
- puts me in the middle (triangulation)
Four Trauma Types
This is what PTSD / cPTSD looked and felt like for me. You can heal. When you're ready, I'm here for you.
Share your thoughts and comments below ▼ I love hearing from you ❤️
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