Several medical doctors suggested it. I laughed. Me? Depressed? What do I have do I have to be depressed about?
I lacked nothing and felt blessed. I had strong faith and felt spiritually nourished. All of that was true.
No. Don’t give me antidepressants and no I don’t need to talk to anyone. If I could just sleep I could hold it all together. Give me sleep meds. Last month’s blog series is all about insomnia if you missed it my blog is here: https://deecastelli.com/blog
The thought of a diagnosis of depression or seeking professional help carried such deep shame for me. There was no way I’d admit it or seek help. If I ever did I’d never tell a soul. The best I could do was professional business counselors. Yes. That was acceptable. That got me on the right track at least. I was open to the idea of imbalances that needed adjustment.
You see, I’m a fighter. I’m resilient. For me medicating myself was not going to actually fix anything. No. If there was something to be depressed about I wanted to look the beast right in the eye and stare it down. I wanted to rise up and pray and conquer. Many days it felt like a deep pit swallowing me whole. I felt as if I’d clawed my way up a few inches and something would kick me down. I felt the dirt and stone slip under my fingers.
It didn’t need to be that hard. I did seek help. Eventually I felt comfortable looking for emotional support, emotional healing. That was easier for me to reconcile needing. It has helped. This is why I’m so passionate to help others.
If you’d like to hear others experience you can read these public posts:
There is no shame and you are not alone ❤️🩹
If you’d like to explore emotional healing start here: Emotional Balance intro
If you need medication, then get some. Just seek help. There is no shame in it.
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