It was around 2008/2009 and I felt worn out and exhausted. Every day was a struggle. I went to bed early and woke up late and was still tired. Medical tests came back clear, so there was no physical cause for my extreme exhaustion. Can you relate?
It was a turning point in my life. Here are three things that began my journey to turn it around and helped me the most.
It started with a simple internet search about “how to deal with passive-aggressive people” and my other search was “how to deal with difficult people.” I also searched within my own Bible study resources because I wanted to be sure I had a scriptural viewpoint. What a massive eye-opener! There it was before my eyes, clear as day. What’s more, to my utter shock, the answers had been right in front of me my entire adult life. Looking back, it still baffles me how I could have missed it all those years. I mean, boundaries were easy to embrace at work and in certain relationships. I understood how to keep those in their proper place. In other relationships it was a complete unknown because boundaries had never existed in those relationships.
That was a turning point but I wasn’t quite ready for boundaries. First, having boundaries was such a fuzzy concept when I first learned about them. Second, there was so much fear around speaking my wishes in certain situations. Boundaries sounded too aggressive to me the way most information about them presents the concept. That’s just not me, so I could not wrap my head around exactly how to “do” boundaries. It sounded good in theory, but I had some growing to do yet.
Here are the two things that helped me get there, ready to attempt some gentle boundaries:
Fly Lady is a concept I discovered back in 2008 and guess what? The website and social support communities are still active. The idea is fundamental and straightforward. It made a difference in my mental and emotional health. I learned to drag myself out of bed and get dressed, including shoes and keep the kitchen sink clean. Those are things I do to this day. (I have designated “house sneakers” I don’t wear outside.) Baby steps and flying lessons! That little bit of self-care was the beginning of my climb out of the depths of despair.
You might know how it feels to have crying spells for no reason. Maybe anger wells up with nowhere to go, so you stuff it down and keep going. Panic attacks and nightmares? What’s happening and why? Come back and read next week to learn more about this part of the journey and get some tips to empower your journey. Once I had done some healing emotionally, it was the final piece of the puzzle that empowered me to have some gentle boundaries.
These are some reasons I created this simple step-by-step course - so you can achieve MASSIVE growth without taking years of trial and error to figure it out as I did. Learn more about boundaries here:
If you feel like you've got some emotional healing to do before attempting even the gentlest boundary start with my mini-course Emotional Balance in 3 Easy Steps
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