From Overwhelm to Peace in 3 Steps
It was around 2008/2009 and I felt worn out and exhausted. Every day was a struggle. I went to bed early and woke up late and was still tired. Medical tests came back clear, so there was no physical cause for my extreme exhaustion. Can you relate?

It was a turning point in my life. Here are three things that began my journey to turn it around and helped me the most.
 

Boundaries

It started with a simple internet search about “how to deal with passive-aggressive people” and my other search was “how to deal with difficult people.” I also searched within my own Bible study resources because I wanted to be sure I had a scriptural viewpoint. What a massive eye-opener! There it was before my eyes, clear as day. What’s more, to my utter shock, the answers had been right in front of me my entire adult life. Looking back, it still baffles me how I could have missed it all those years. I mean, boundaries were easy to embrace at work and in certain relationships. I understood how to keep those in their proper place. In other relationships it was a complete unknown because boundaries had never existed in those relationships.
 
That was a turning point but I wasn’t quite ready for boundaries. First, having boundaries was such a fuzzy concept when I first learned about them. Second, there was so much fear around speaking my wishes in certain situations. Boundaries sounded too aggressive to me the way most information about them presents the concept. That’s just not me, so I could not wrap my head around exactly how to “do” boundaries. It sounded good in theory, but I had some growing to do yet.
 
Here are the two things that helped me get there, ready to attempt some gentle boundaries:
 

Fly Lady

Fly Lady is a concept I discovered back in 2008 and guess what? The website and social support communities are still active. The idea is fundamental and straightforward. It made a difference in my mental and emotional health. I learned to drag myself out of bed and get dressed, including shoes and keep the kitchen sink clean. Those are things I do to this day. (I have designated “house sneakers” I don’t wear outside.) Baby steps and flying lessons! That little bit of self-care was the beginning of my climb out of the depths of despair.
 

Emotional Healing

You might know how it feels to have crying spells for no reason. Maybe anger wells up with nowhere to go, so you stuff it down and keep going. Panic attacks and nightmares? What’s happening and why? Come back and read next week to learn more about this part of the journey and get some tips to empower your journey. Once I had done some healing emotionally, it was the final piece of the puzzle that empowered me to have some gentle boundaries.
 
These are some reasons I created this simple step-by-step course - so you can achieve MASSIVE growth without taking years of trial and error to figure it out as I did. Learn more about boundaries here:


If you feel like you've got some emotional healing to do before attempting even the gentlest boundary start with my mini-course Emotional Balance in 3 Easy Steps


Your emotional healing begins here. Watch this complimentary video to begin your emotional healing TODAY. This concept in this first video of a three part series. If you would like to chat about your healing journey and your next steps, message me and mention this post.

4 Comments

  1. Yay 4 Fly Lady!
    Back to basics.
    One step at a time.
    And yes, boundaries (maybe they shouldn't just be invisible lines).
    Dee Castelli AUTHOR  05/06/2021 11:54 AM Central
    Ooooo not invisible and not in sand, speak them clearly and etched in concrete. At least the ones I mean - you own them and they’re things you do, actions within your full control. The way I teach solid boundaries may not be what others teach but they may have not lived or needed what I learned the hard way so I make it simple and easy
  2. I loved Fly Lady too! I still have the ostrich feather dusters. They’ve been to South America and back with me.
    Dee Castelli AUTHOR  05/08/2021 10:59 AM Central
    That’s so cool!!
  3. I loved FlyLady! She helped me so much. I get choked up seeing this because, at the point in my life when I found her routines, I was surrounded by people who were nothing like me. They couldn't understand why I needed that kind of help and I remember someone saying "We'll see if you can keep it up." (Which was enough to send me into a downward spiral.) Just seeing that there were always those who understood and were walking similar paths, and seeing how now our paths have crossed... it is so emotional for me! Thanks for sharing this, Dee.
    Dee Castelli AUTHOR  10/27/2022 11:02 AM Central
    Oh wow it’s always bitter sweet to read of others who relate. I’m glad you were able to rise up and out! I didn’t tell anyone about it myself knowing all the snickers and repercussions that would follow. I’m glad our paths crossed too!
  4. Wow! This is right on point and articulated so well. Thank you. What great information. I am starting to apply the techniques to my own situations........
    Dee Castelli AUTHOR  10/29/2022 07:30 PM Central
    Oh wow that’s so good and I’m sure you’ll see good results in a short time!

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