Healthy boundaries create better relationships, foster healthy interconnection. With healthy boundaries two individuals are clearly defined with the ability to be close enough to connect, supporting growth and change. There is both connection and space, togetherness and individuation, an interdependence rather than either a co-dependence or independence. Relationships like this flourish and communication is open, hones and authentic.
Someone who has no boundaries or collapsed boundaries Is fluid, becomes easily enmeshed, has no sense of self, merges with others and other problems. This creates such a huge problems in relationships, not knowing where you end and others begin. What winds up happening is that you get involved in others stuff, become codependent, pushing others. The other danger is merging with others and becoming suffocating, putting any spark out in a friendship or romantic relationship. In extended family relationships this is commonly referred to as in-law problems. We've all seen movies and sitcoms based on such interference and over involvement, not understanding a proper social place or respecting distance. The very thing people long for, a connection and relationship with others, is often strained at best. More often the relationships become strained and are often destroyed.
Someone whose boundaries are too rigid is unable to connect with others, unable to receive help and is emotionally detached making intimacy impossible. You may know someone like this or it may be this way yourself. At the same time often such people are conflicted, wishing they had the support and friendship there so long for and yet putting up walls either knowingly or unknowingly the prevent others from feeling any sort of closeness or emotional connection. These are the people that are always OK, nothings wrong and don't need anyone or anything. There is no real or meaningful relationship possible with such ones.
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