What if, instead of beating ourselves up for our mistakes, we viewed them as simply experiences? What if we changed up our viewpoint, tried to see the lesson, took note, and moved on without spiraling into negativity?
Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying we're perfect or without flaw, that we don't say things that hurt others, or that we never need to apologize—quite the opposite, actually.
Rather, I’m suggesting that we foster self-acceptance by recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting our flaws, imperfections, and mistakes as simply being human and nothing more. It's okay to be human. Really, it is.
Why do we ask of ourselves more than even God expects? Why not accept and embrace our imperfect self? We can cultivate a mindset of not expecting perfection and not beating ourselves up when we inevitably fail.
What if we were to view every slip as simply an experience? What could we learn? We could note lessons and areas to improve in the future. Empowered growth means that we stop the negative and harsh inner critic, that voice that beats us up. Instead, we empower ourselves to grow by replacing that harsh and critical voice with a positive voice of self-compassion; one that tells us “Good job for trying!” and “Let’s see what we just learned.” Then we can grow because our mistakes are transformed into a learning experience.
If we were to observe someone we love making this same mistake, what would we say? This is how we can start to practice self-compassion. Picture yourself as your own best friend. Imagine putting your arm around yourself. I know it sounds silly, but have you ever tried it? To close your eyes and picture you speaking to yourself?
If you heard someone speaking to another person the way you sometimes speak to yourself, what would be your reaction? When I’ve thought of this at times, I honestly wouldn’t like what I heard. So I worked to change my internal dialogue little by little.
Another technique that helped me is thought-stopping when dealing with intrusive negative thoughts. Our minds drift, and sometimes move away from the present, almost like a daydream. The first step is to notice the negative thought when it occurs. The second step is to interrupt the thought by doing something to bring yourself back to the present moment: notice where you are, touch a surface close by, or rub your hands together. Then, replace the negative thought.
That last part is easier said than done. Here are some tips:
Ask empowering “why” questions such as:
Why am I capable?
Why am I enough even though I’m not perfect?
Why am I loved?
Why am I secure in God’s love for me?
Use your sense of smell. Our brain can’t filter out our sense of smell, so it easily and gently interrupts negative thoughts. Aromas can partner with our brain to dissolve the emotion attached to a situation. Combining that with the empowering questions above is extremely powerful. Use fresh herbs, dried spices, or an herbal tea bag if you don’t have pure essential oils.
If you don’t already have my Aroma Reset guide / script, get it here. Grab something from your kitchen and try it! I’d love to hear how it works for you!
Bonus VideoGraphics to Download as Reminders
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Learn more · Watch this complimentary video to level up your emotional balance and healing journey TODAY when you learn the concept in this first video of the three part series. If you would like to chat about your healing journey and your next steps, just message me and mention this post.