Gentle Boundaries

Try this simple exercise and get ready for a MASSIVE shift in your mindset

Caretaking vs caregiving. Is there a difference? Why does it matter? About 30 years ago, I was talking to a friend about how exhausted I was from taking care of several situations. None of them were really my situations, yet I felt as if I owned them, that they were mine to bear. Have you ever felt that way too?

Have you ever said “I have to . . .” or “they need me to . . .?” Do you ever say you have to do something just because someone else wants you to do it? Maybe because they expect it to be done? Do you ever say yes to something and regret it later? Do you feel obligated to live up to others’ expectations? Here’s one simple tip

The #1 question about boundaries is "are boundaries the same as control?" Do you hesitate to create or enforce boundaries because you're concerned about being viewed as controlling? Why might some feel that way? Understanding the difference between boundaries and control is key to finding and maintaining balance and honoring your limitations.

Does saying the word "no" cause you some anxiety? Does it seem confrontational or aggressive? It did for me likely because for most of my life, the word “no” was cause for confrontation and strong argument. So, naturally, I came up with ways to say no without actually having to say the word. Here's my very best tips plus a complimentary tip sheet and downloadable graphics.

What does it mean when people say who do you think you are? Children are born dreaming big dreams - think about the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" What was your dream? When people say or convey the message "who do you think you are?" it's generally because

How can we invite peace and healing while honoring others choices? Sometimes on the trail as with life things take an unexpected turn. Other times we mindfully and intentionally shift our direction. Sometimes we choose one path while others choose another. 

Do some relationships drain you completely? You’re out of energy when engaging with some people? Tired? Worn thin? Exhausted by people? Maybe you just don’t have the right people 

Own your voice - sometimes we hold back to avoid conflict. TRUTH is that's not possible.

Here's why

Boundary basics - a Christian perspective - guest speaker for a self care support group

Have you ever said "I have to ____" or "they need me to ____" Do you ever say "I have to do this" for a chore or something even in your own life? Did you ever say that with things people "need" or want you to do? Do you ever say yes to something and regret it later? Here's one simple way to improve your boundaries using language.

Sometimes people hesitate to create or enforce boundaries because they're concerned about being viewed as controlling. This is a very valid feeling and so much has to do with viewpoint. First let's talk about your viewpoint within yourself and the idea of modesty

Healthy boundaries create better relationships, foster healthy interconnection. Someone who has no boundaries or collapsed boundaries Is fluid, becomes easily immersed, has no sense of self, merges with others and other problems. Someone whose boundaries are too rigid is unable to connect with others, unable to receive help and is emotionally detached making intimacy impossible.

Do you have trouble saying no? Does saying no make you feel guilty? Do you freeze and don't know what to say or how to respond? Do you feel stuck? Try these simple, easy suggestions that will help you say no without guilt and say no with ease. Having good boundaries is so important but how do we do healthy boundaries without putting up walls?